The Story of Sandy and Sodapop
by SunshineAndOranges
Summary: This is a four chapter story describing the romantic relationship between Sodapop and Sandy from Sodapop's perpective. I do not own these characters, they belong to the novel The Outsiders by SE Hinton.
1. First Love

"_You in love with Sandy? What's it like" Ponyboy asked. "Its real nice" I sighed happily thinking about last week._

She was waiting for me at the kitchen door "you need to be quiet" she whispered with a bright contagious smile, "my parents will kill you if they find you here". I knew the rules. We'd had these clandestine meetings often in the past year. Me coming over after Darry and Ponyboy fell asleep and her getting me out before her parents woke up in the morning. I took her face in my hands and looked into her beautiful china blue eyes then kissed her gently. Although we had done this almost every night in the last month, it was always a thrill, so we giggled as we held hands tiptoeing through the house. I love her, I thought.

I kissed her forehead lightly as we laid on her bed like we'd done countless times. She placed her head on my chest and I ran my hand up and down her back enjoying the silky softness of her skin on my fingers. Despite the trial and tribulations, unjust life circumstances, and crushing responsibilities I often felt; when I was with Sandy I could relax and enjoy the moment. Sandy felt like home.

She shifted so that her lips were next to mine. We stayed there just absorbing one another, with me appreciating her delicate features. God, she is beautiful I thought and as if she had heard my internal thoughts, she smiled then kissed me. I could feel myself melting into her and used my hands to gently caress every curve of her body. Sandy responded with a quiet moan followed by her hands running through my hair and down my back. I moved my lips to her neck and as my hands trailed to her thighs, I realized I desperately longed for her more than anything I had ever wanted in my life. We were getting carried away by the things we were feelings.

Although the moment was filled with passion and excitement, it was simultaneously nerve wrecking. My heart was beating faster than I could ever remember. I wanted to keep going further but neither of us had ever done this before. Am I going to fast I wondered? I loved her too much to push her past her level of comfort. I started to pull away from her embrace but to my surprise to pulled me closer. "Are you sure?" I asked between deep and labored breaths instinctively knowing what she was suggesting. With a slight nod, she pulled my shirt over my head and I then clumsily unbuttoned her sleep blouse. As it came off and I had my first glance of her in the moonlight, I gasped. She was the most magnificent thing I had ever seen.

Afterwards as we laid in bed holding one another, I was filled with a euphoria I'd never experienced. I would have thought it impossible, but she was even more stunning now with her glowing complexion. I ran my fingers through her soft blond hair. "I love you" I said, meaning it with every fiber of my being. She kissed my chest softly then said, "I've always loved you Sodapop Curtis". I smiled down on her and we stayed in that silent embrace until the sun began to rise. "My parents will be up soon" she finally said, my cue to leave. "Yeah, my brothers will miss me if I am not there when they get up" wishing more than anything that I could stay here with her forever. She stood up and wrapped herself in the sheets as I quickly hunted for my clothes. I began to let myself out, but not before I got a final glance at her. I am going to marry her, I thought.


	2. Pregnant

"I am pregnant" she says. With those three simple words the blood drained from my face. I suddenly felt lightheaded falling to the couch, instantly thankful its softness caught my fall. I cradled my head in my hands and forced myself to breathe. I am preg-nant, the four syllables that had brought me to my knees. I sat dumbfounded. I am pregnant. The power that sentence held over me was unbearable but completely undeniable. "Pregnant" I whispered softly.

I suddenly began to panic, catastrophic images filling my mind. I am just 16 years old; I can't be anyone's dad I thought. What am I going to do? I was visibly shaking. How am I going to take care of a baby? A baby. A real live person who will depend on me for the rest of its life. I was suffocating and couldn't catch my breath my world was reeling. I was going to be sick. Breathe, I told myself again.

How could this happen? I asked myself. It was only one time. How could my life change so drastically over one time? We waited so long and when we finally did, we weren't careful. We should have been careful. I should have made sure of it. I mentally kicked myself.

Then I looked up. She wasn't crying but she was obviously on the brink of falling apart. She stood there, lip quivering. Noticeably feeling the same despair, I felt moments ago. Her terrified eyes were filled with tears. Those beautiful soft blue eyes I loved.

Images of us permeated my psyche. I abruptly remembered that night and how her soft body felt against mine. I remembered the feeling of her head against my chest. The memory of her lips against mine was so strong I could almost feel it. I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. I felt and urgent immediate need to protect her. I stood up and pulled her against me. I held her there and without warning sobs began to rock her body. I took her face in my hands so I could look into my eyes then said, "I love you Sandy and I love our baby". She continued to cry as I clutched her tightly. Our baby I thought, and I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.


	3. Consequences

I went inside and paced. I was truly terrified about telling Darry. As I pressed my fingers into my temples in a futile attempt to stop the throbbing in my head I said "Deadman walking" aloud to the empty house. I knew Darry would kill me. He is so by the book that he wouldn't be able to understand this. He is going to be furious. Darry is going to pummel me into the ground.

I silently wondered if eight months ago I would have been this worried about telling him. Our relationship was different now. When mom and dad were around, he was my brother. Together we broke plenty of rules and when caught, Darry always bailed me out. I was his tag along little buddy and he taught me the ropes. I found the irony in that it was Darry who'd taught me how to sneak out of the house unnoticed; the skill that helped me get into this predicament in the first place. "Going out the window is your best bet" he'd said "the floor creaks by mom and dad's door". No, I decided finally answering my own question, eight months ago Darry would have been the first person I would have ran to. Unfortunately, we now had an unnatural relationship now with memories of sibling hijinks but with a present filled with his authority over me.

I thought about the type of conversation we might have had and shuddered when my mind trailed back to an incident that occurred about six months ago. I had taken advantage of everyone being out for the night. Although it's just the three of us boys living here, our house is never empty with Johnny, Two-Bit, Dally, and Steve hanging around. Well anyways, unbeknownst to me Darry's roofing job had been postponed due to unordered materials. Sandy and I had been on my bed enjoying the privacy when he walked in. I really wasn't expecting him home and the only think I could think of doing was sheepishly asking, "hey, how was the movie Darry?" as I hurriedly moved off her and she promptly buttoned up her shirt. He looked at me for a long while before he responded, "take Sandy home". I had begun to argue but he quickly stopped me "but nothing Sodapop" then added "take Sandy home and come right back". The authority in his voice came through loud and clear and I knew I should do exactly as I was told. On the drive, Sandy was worried, but I promised her that he wasn't mad, but I knew he was. I knew he wasn't having any more of this and if he didn't snap now, he would if it happened again.

I had hoped to sneak into the house unnoticed, but he called from the kitchen "Soda I need to see you in here". I flopped on the chair waiting for the yelling to begin. I was thankful that Ponyboy was not around to hear all this. Darry typically doesn't yell at me too much, but this was a big one. "You know Soda" he had said much too calmly "you're much too young to be um… you know". My face flushed with humiliation. Not the talk, I thought. I concentrated on the ground in front of me willing it to open and swallow me whole. But nonetheless he continued "and if you're going to, you should um… ". This is awful I thought imagining all types of hell's I would have preferred to this. I abruptly interrupted "I don't need to hear this!" He shook his head then said "You do Sodapop. The last thing you need is to get Sandy in trouble". At that point I would have done anything to have that awkward conversation end, so I blurted "we're not. OK. Do I have to paint a picture!" then I added "and I've never" just for good measure. Darry sighed with relief. "Good" he'd said obviously reassured by my statement. "Can I go now?" I asked, ready to be anywhere else. "Yeah, maybe you ought to stay home tonight and cool off a bit" Darry said, his way of telling me I had messed up and was confined at least for the night. I nodded without making eye contact. "And Soda" he'd cautioned "no girls in the house when I am not here." I acknowledged his statement with a sigh.

The problem was that now, he wasn't exactly my parent, but he wasn't exactly my brother either. Our relationship was in some type of awkward limbo where one minute we would tease one another like old times past and the next he was threatening to ground me if I was late for curfew again. For the most part, I tried to keep myself out of trouble aware that things were probably difficult for him as well. Honestly, I felt sorry for him. He didn't ask to be our makeshift father, circumstances forced it upon on him.

He walked through the door, much too soon for my tastes because I had still not gotten my thoughts together. It's now or never I told myself. I tried to speak up but ended up squeaking, "hey, I gotta tell you something Darry". He looked down to where I was sitting possibly intrigued by my tone. I was a nervous wreck. "and I don't need you hollering at me 'bout it alright" I added defensively. He looked at me, waiting for me to speak but there was nothing, just silence. I was trying, but my mouth would not form the words. "What is it?" He finally asked. I'd lost my nerve. I quickly stood and walked towards the kitchen hoping to find my missing courage there. Darry had followed me and gently put his hand on my shoulder turning me around. I don't know if I can do this, I thought. I wasn't afraid that he was going to deck me, he most certainly was, I was afraid that I had let him down. He would be so disappointed. "Soda, what's the matter" he asked in a soft tender voice "what's wrong Pepsi Cola?" His pale blue eyes locked with mine and the worry in his face made me feel worse.

I was terror stricken and could feel my heart in my throat. I must do this, I reminded myself. "Sandy" I started finally gaining the ability to speak. He was watching me and listening intently. I searched for the right words. "I reckon you know I love Sandy" I said hoping he wouldn't make me say it, but he looked at me, confused as to where this was going. I looked around the room for cues as to what to say next. "Well Sandy is in the family way" I finally blurted bracing myself for his reaction. I stood frozen. He grabbed my shirt in his fists. Truth be told, if he hit me, I wouldn't fight back.

He must have seen the panic in my eyes because in an instant, he let go. "Soda" he said, "how could you?" His face filled with disillusionment. I was ready to bawl. I wanted him to hit me or cuss at me not look at me the way he did. "We were stupid" I said fighting back tears "I'm sorry" I added pitifully. He just looked at me shaking his head in disapproval. Just please hit me I thought. "What now?" He asked obviously resigned to the situation. "I have to do right by Sandy" I said meekly. He nodded but said nothing. Honestly, I found his behavior disconcerting. "You ain't gonna yell?" I finally asked hoping his screaming would assuage my guilt. He shook his head "No Soda. I'm not" is all he said as he walked to the living room and plopped on the couch.

We both sat on the couch for an hour when the phone interrupted our silence. "It's for you... Sandy" Darry said handing me the phone. "Sodapop, it's Sandy" she said in her usual soft-spoken voice, but I could tell she'd been crying. "What's wrong" I asked worriedly. "My flight leaves in 15 minutes. I just wanted to say that the baby ain't yours and I'm sorry" she'd replied mechanically. It took a moment for the words to register and when they did, I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach. I couldn't catch my breath no matter how hard I tried. "What do you mean?" I finally managed saying as I was feeling dismayed and unbalanced. That would mean that Sandy... No, I refused to think about it. "It's not yours" she angrily repeated almost yelling and actively crying now. Her crying hurt me.

"I don't care Sandy. I love you. I want to be with you". I replied my voice shaking and the feeling despair growing at the thought of her leaving. There was silence. Then suddenly she said "But I don't want to be with you" then there was the dial tone. I couldn't move. My body felt cold. Darry sensing my distress put his hand on my back. My entire body was shaking when Darry asked, "what's wrong?" I blurted "it wasn't mine. I would have married her anyway, but she left". Darry put his arms around me and held me as I cried. This was the most awful pain I had ever experienced.


	4. Sandy

"Are you really five years old today? " I jokingly asked Trish as I snuggled my face into her dark golden curls. Certain things about her reminded me of the reckless boy I had fallen in love with. Her deep thoughtful brown eyes. Her golden hair and the way it lightened in the summer time. Her smile. My God, she smiles just like him. I thought about the time when I was terrified about this moment and could not even remember why because nothing felt more natural than holding her. I lovingly rocked her in my arms looking into her beautiful eyes and admiring her stunningly beautiful features. Gosh, she looks just like him I thought with a melancholic smile crossing my face.

For better or worse, her birthday always reminds me about when I was sixteen years old and had just found out I was pregnant. I was terrified about telling Sodapop, I had seen plenty of guys walk out on girls after they knocked them up. I was afraid he would run away and leave me because I truly loved him. I wanted to be with him forever. God I loved him and even through that now I've been married to a great man for four years I realized I would always love Sodapop. My fears were laid to rest once I told him. He was wonderful although I could tell he was as scared as I was. He tried to play it off, but I knew him well and could see he was feeling a similar panic. However, he said he wanted to marry me and raise our baby. He wanted us to be a family. I was so happy I cried as he held me.

Soda had walked me home and we sat on the porch swing for what seemed like hours. I kept my head on his chest "I'll tell them with you" he said rubbing my hair. He was always so gentle with me. He will be a great dad I thought. "No" I said, "you still have to tell Darry and I reckon you never told him you were sneaking into my house every night" I reminded him. "He's going to be real hacked off and I don't want to be there when you tell him," I added. He kissed my head "Darry will be fine" he said and again I could sense it was a false bravado as he spoke. "I want to do it alone," I said, "It wouldn't be fair for you to face them and Darry". He hugged me and said, "I really don't mind Sandy". I sat up then kissed him. He always did take great care of me. "No" I said with finality "you go home, and I will do it tonight when Daddy gets back from work". A few minutes later he finally got up and began to walk home, looking back at me with a smile as he turned the corner. The truth was I wasn't sure what my parents would do when I told him and I thought it was better if I did it alone.

I couldn't eat any dinner. I sat quietly and played with my food feeling nauseous at the thought of the pending conversation. Being the youngest child in the family had it benefits. Since my brother was away to college and my sister was now married in her own house I didn't have to time this. I could just start talking whenever I worked up the courage. "Momma, Daddy" I began because now was as good as time as any. I was their baby and it didn't matter when I said this, they were not going to take this well. I paused for a second because I couldn't bring myself to say it. I was terrified about their reaction. "I'm pregnant" I blurted out, knowing full well that if I didn't speak up then I would have lost my nerve. Momma slapped me in her shock and I stayed frozen holding my face. Time seemed to stop. When my body finally registered the sting, tears began to roll down my face but I still couldn't move.

My face was still burning from the impact when I said, "I'm sorry" but Daddy wouldn't look at me. I had wanted to be strong but I could feel his disappointment and I began to sob. "Soda wants to marry me, we love each other," I said looking at Momma hoping she would stop crying. But she didn't, she just ran her hands through her blonde hair then covered her face as she continued sobbing, Daddy finally spoke, his blue eyes still failing to meet mine "you can't get married Sandy. You are sixteen years old for Christ sake!" he said exasperated.

We were all silent for a moment. "If you love him," Momma said with her china blue eyes locking into mine "you will give that baby up". "No" I yelled incredulously "Soda loves me and I love him. He wants to marry me Momma. We're going to be a family." Then it was Daddy's turn to speak. "Darling" he said softly "if you won't think about yourself, think about that boy. You will be crushing him with responsibility. He still has a chance right now. His little brother will be eighteen soon enough and he will have an opportunity to do all the things he didn't get to do" he said with sorrow overcoming his face. "That can't happen if he has a family to take care of," he said in a desolate manner.

Daddy was right. Sodapop was now responsible for his little brother. He couldn't finish high school because he had to care for Ponyboy after their parents died. Sodapop didn't mind, he loved his brother and I knew he would love this baby but he missed out on a lot. At sixteen, he was already helping raise a teenager; he didn't need anything more on his plate. I began to sob again as I realized that this wouldn't work. I have never felt pain so deep as I did that moment. "He already knows" I whispered between sobs. "Think of something" Momma said gently rubbing her hand on my back.

My parents decided to send me to my grandmas in Boca so that I could have the baby and give it up there. I would be able to come back once the baby was born then finish high school. I barely had time to pack because we left that night partly because they didn't want to give me the time to back out of the plan. I managed to bring a picture of Soda and me and cried over it at the airport. I prayed to God that I was doing the right thing. I loved Sodapop and wanted him to have more than a ball and chain.

I found a payphone and willed myself to call his number, "Sodapop, it's Sandy" I said. I was still crying but I needed to do this. "What's wrong" he asked obviously aware that I had been bawling. "My flight leaves in 15 minutes. I just wanted to tell you that it's not yours and I'm sorry," I said the line that I had practiced for hours now. There was silence for a minute. "What do you mean?" he asked. I could hear the betrayal in his voice and it broke me. "It's not yours," I said angry that I was lying. Angry that I couldn't be with him. Angry at the entire situation. He will hate me I thought. But he surprised me with his next words "I don't care Sandy I love you. I want to be with you" he said, his voice shaking. I felt my heart break in a million pieces. I wanted to be with him more than anything but my parents were right. I love you I thought as I said "but I don't want to be with you" and then hung up the phone. I sat on the floor by the payphone sobbing uncontrollably until my flight was called.

As the months passed and the baby grew inside me, I realized I could never give it up. I decided to never return home and have been living in Florida since. Grandma was great and watched Patricia while I went to school. While in college, I met a nice boy who loved us both. As much as I love Tommy, I can't help but think of that boy I left behind in Tulsa.


End file.
